In one foul swoop I have been dragged into the world of the adult. I didn’t ask for it to happen nor did I go looking for it, but sure as eggs it came crashing down upon me like god striking out in rage at my childhood. Blissfully I have been existing in a world of plenty, of futures and of a carefree existence. Others around me have suffered at the hands of Adulthood, before I fell at its feet, Did I learn from their experiences, No I did not, Many have experienced what I am now, and relayed their stories of grief and worry onto me, Did I listen, No I did not! The writing has been on the wall for some time now, Did I bother to spot and read it, No I did not! So what have I been doing , I have been told, Shown and seen the perils of Adulthood, but my childishness prevented me from taking heed. Truth be known though, what would I have done, how could I have reacted, What change in direction may have averted this paradigm shift in my existence. And in reality, at this juncture as I sit here and write, I only really fear the onset of adulthood, or does this thought mean I am an adult, does the knowledge of such woes, actual or impending make me an adult, or does the act of adulthood only truly occur upon its actual happening. Semantics I know But I may need the fine line I am trying to create to flip flop back into childhood, I’m hoping my innocence may be restored in the coming weeks, but can I be a born again child, Once an adult can I ever experience the joy of ignorance and the times of affluence again. Oh I hope so, but for the next few years I dare say not.You see the other day it was announced at Work that there needed to be some redundancies, when I say some I mean some 30-35 percent workforce cut vertically through the company. The downturn in the economies of the world and in particular the west has seen the bottom fall out of the Architectural market. Daily I oscillate between confidence and dire dread. Will I stay or Will I Go Go. One day I remember I am the design/project architect on the offices largest job, the next day I think that I tend to alienate people who don’t perform to my expectations, then I realise the client is well impressed but remember that there is no guarantee that despite my best efforts, politics and commercial agreements may stand in the way of the office winning the next stage. But What happens, happens and to live in interesting times is an exciting thing.
Anyway I’m off to Jane’s performance of the Carmina Burana at the Royal albert hall.
Will let you know what happens.